Today I’m in a slump. Maybe its because I’ve had the flu or been busy sewing up a storm in my craft room. Maybe its because the weather has kept us inside. Maybe its because I’m going on 3 years of infertility.
I’m trying to be positive but I don’t want to go anywhere, talk to anyone, meet anyone and do anything. Yep, that’s one big slump. When I get like this its hard to stay motivated. Has it really been 3 years? Our daughter will be turning 4 this summer and all I can think about is giving her a sibling to play with. I have to be careful with her sometimes because she likes to tell everyone that she is having a little brother. That always brings up an awkward conversation. She doesn’t quite understand that mommy’s tummy is ‘broken’ in the meantime.
One thing I have learned through this experience is that people really can be insensitive to your situation. This one really hit hard to my heart. I can write an entire post about this.How are Vaughn and Shelby doing? A: They are doing great. Living in Colorado and they have a beautiful 3 year old. Why don’t they have more children? A: They have been having infertility issues.
Does it really matter that we only have one child. Some people are very happy with only one child and I talk about this to my husband all the time that I would be totally fine with only one child but I know somewhere and sometime in my future that we will have more children. This is just our trial in life and maybe we are supposed to help children in other ways. Who cares if we only have one child, right? In my mind I was thinking ‘how dare you say that. You have no idea what I’ve been through. I’m not blessed to pop out a baby every year like you’.
Yes people, I am sensitive. Very sensitive in fact if you can’t tell.
When I get in this slump its good to know that I need sometime to myself to let my mind wander, body relax and release stress. So if you invite me to go do something and I decline you know that its because I’m sorting out my own issues. I’m avoiding any baby confrontation or this bomb in me will explode.
On a better and brighter note, these moments have made me happy this week:
What has made you happy this week? Please share.
Thanks for hearing me out